My grandmother is dying. It’s difficult accepting the fact that the person you once knew will no longer be the person you know. At this point life becomes ever so much more real.
Now you see family and they see you in all of your different forms and you see them. It feels good to be home though it was a journey coming from Japan to the Bay Area and adjusting to time-zones and looking for wi-fi and air terminals.
I made it. Now I’m thinking about a woman who was not only my grandmother but my mother when she needed to be and taught me so many things about life.
Live can change any moment and all the time you think that you are prepared and you’re not and so you move onto the next thing but we are sticking together and you have to remember that the most important thing is family unity at this moment.
Japan the school year starts in April and ends in March. So, I just got started at my regular job in Ikebukero and my father calls me early in the morning and tells me my grandmother is in the hospital and it looks bad. I had a thousand thoughts inside of my head after hearing that. I had been wanting to go home but not this way but now I guess I got my wish and like they say be careful what you wish for.
My grandmother what not my grandmother she was my mother too. She helped raise, mold and scold me at times. She’s tough and she’s fighting as I write this in my hospital bed to stay alive. Now, relatives and friends are visiting her waiting, hoping and praying. In a few days I’ll see her. I can’t wait.
At this stage of my life so much goes through my head. A lot of people my age are not here and those that are, a few are in bad health. I have a family and I try and take care of myself so that I’m here for the long term. At the end of the day health will make choices for you, no matter how much bling or bang you got.
I’m ready to go home. Just a few minor adjustments and arrangements and I’ll go to Narita airport by train and take off. I hate flying but living so far away from home what can I do? The tough part about living abroad and so many know this is the distance and sometimes absence of family. I’ve been in Japan for four years and I keep telling myself that one day I’ll go home and it keeps taking me longer and longer and more things keep happening until one day I’ll turn around and it will have been twenty years past. I can’t even list all of the things I’ve had to let go of and at times I’m still holding on too. I miss my grandmother a lot and now I may never see her again. She has done so much for me and still does. So, while I have time, I will leave and hope and pray for the best that I can get to her in time before she leaves me and our family forever.