Staying on course is hard but veering from it may be worse. A friend fell in the theater. I visited them on the 7th floor of a hospital downtown. For some reason the number 7 means something has happened or will happen to me. Well I made it and having parked on the 8th floor the first time. I forgot my backpack and ended up on the 7 floor on my return. Still I made it to work on time to teach.
This is the ending and beginning of a crazy year. I cold look in a mirror and laugh hysterically right now. I’m keeping my composure. Going to movies at night is fun but then so are the characters that go to see the late show. I’m one of them. I stared at the screen the whole time, still mesmerized by good film making and good stories.
So far so bad. A lot of us are really disappointed about the election and some of us are super happy. Now comes the Spiderman Meme finger pointing. It was good to go back to school, get an MA TESL degree and continue cycling. The sacrifice was leaving my family behind and the ups and downs of entering U.S. educational labor market again.
Somehow we make it. I feel good but the fight continues. Battles are lost and won but not the war. That has yet to be decided. For now we move forward and make the most of each moment. There’s a lot to say and edit. The constant is going out and doing a good shred and then coming home and taking care of business. You learn a lot when you’re out on the road and going fast or your climbing up your favorite mountain. It feels really good. You do you best. It’s in that moment where anything can happen that you have an epiphany and you realize your potential and what needs attention.
Keep writing and keep peddling No matter what happens. It’s just how it is sometimes. At this age a lot of people are not around. You realize your limitations and that you need to take care of your mental and physical health. No need to burn out and go super nova. I’m grateful. I give thanks to the most high and I have to embrace all that this life has been and continues to be.
Life has taken on a new pace. Graduation and then teaching Latin American Studies and now ESL. The substitute teacher has retired. It’s now professor. It feels good. I paid my dues. What could go wrong? I’m not sure maybe having a co-worker that’s a closet MAGA or on my second night of teaching a huge row started between a female and male Chinese students in my level 3 English class. It was weird. Was it me or did they have some type of relationship – entanglement? I don’t know. After that it was cool. The man came back and the women moved to another class during the day. I saw her in my co workers class in earlier in the day because my bicycle lock failed and I couldn’t unlock my bike. I called facilities and the one locksmith they had cut my Ottolock. It’s happened twice, convenient but dangerous.
It feel good to have regular work, cool people, for now and a great environment. I don’t regret subbing and I would do it again if I had too but there’s not turning back. I worked hard for this and victory has been sweet. I’m grateful and I like what I’m doing. The money is right on time. I get to ride my bike too. My last ride making contact with a Tina, that said I had a nice fixie and that she would see me again on the A line.
At this stage nobody is calling to go out anymore. So, I go to mass. Sometimes they want something but I don’t get back what I want in equal fashion. It’s ok I have my family. Now they’re far away so I try to stay on target by cycling writing. In this age we look up people, old friends and old flames but sometimes there’s so much baggage we can’t get through like we use too. Where there was once passion there are brick walls we can’t get past.
It feels good to be on the eve of getting a second MA and then putting it to use. Another transition but there have been many. Now a moment of reflection towards the end. I’m glad that I can write. I’m glad that I found my voice. It took a while but I feel better about it now and if you have found yours congratulations. So, taking advantage of the moment is important. I want to escape AI but it’s here. I’m not excited about it. I want to talk to someone and I want to use my own words.
A slight detour has kept me from cycling but led to me being published in the campus literary magazine and then zooming off to the midwest to present some sociolinguistic research. I support others though they don’t always return the support in kind. We all need a chick in and some acknowledgment but it’s not always going to come. Dad said be your own cheerleader so I guess that’s what I’m doing with this voice.
A short story published in my campus literary magazine – Enjambed.
A lot was pouring out of me and it was just all of the words. Now once again at the dawn of a new career. Winter was challenging, getting sick twice before I left and then a cold when I returned. Missing my family but knowing it is all for the good of them. This is what I wanted to do. So, I just move forward. Always with my bicycle and books. What ever can get you through the night as Codrescru would say. That’s what I do.
Today out for a ride on the Arakawa River I thought I had hit a bird. I wasn’t sure but it sure looked like it for a moment. It sort of symbolized what I have been going through right now. It’s my last semester of school. I got a fellowship to do sociolinguistic research in Los Angels, as well as being accepted to a linguistics conference in Illinois. These are all things that just manifested in the last few years.
At the moment in Japan and on the western side of Honshu, on the Noto peninsula, January 1, a devastating earthquake stuck. It’s sad. People were gathered for New Years and many people lost family members besides the snow and the rain. Right now just praying for them. You never know when your life will change so count your blessings.
It feels good but it’s all a little scary to make progress. But I’m always grateful for it all and I pray, a lot more now then I ever did in my life. I feel it helps. Cycling helps ease the transitions between it all too.
Next is a doctoral program? Well I seem to be on that course. All I know is to go forward. Not everyone is going to understand what you’re trying to do all the time. It get’s even more complicated when you try to explain it. Yet at this point I’m happy to be doing what I’m doing. Then there is the new job teaching Latin American studies at a community college.
I have to remember to write. I have to remember to ride my bicycle. Sometimes we get swallowed up by everyone or everything until we say no. Then we can get to our many dreams and purposes in life. It’s not easy to do but it’s necessary, The alternative might be being angry and then the analysis and the time is gone.
At some point it’s like everyone has to find their own way. Age is different for all of us. Not looking at people younger than you but when you’re older and people seem to be so preoccupied with age and status. For some of us what matters is what we are trying to accomplish that we feel is worthwhile to make the sacrifices for.
The framing of all these events are important too. I don’ really get along with my dad though I love him. I have to ride my bicycle and I’m doing research on something I never thought I would be doing in my while life. Life can change at any minute. So you love them back and you support them as much as you can and you do the same for yourself so you don’t break down in the process.
So, a few weeks ago I cycled to one of my favorite places Kasai Rinkai Park. It’s basically at the mouth of the Arakawa River. After sitting at the well known benches where a lot of cyclist sit and hydrate I took off to go past the bird sanctuary. It was just then that I saw a Tanuki, which some call a raccoon dog. It’s rare to see them and they are supposed to bring good luck. I was in shock when I saw it and I wasn’t sure what to do but I quickly filmed it before it disappeared into some bushes. Nowadays Tanuki are bred for their fur to make brushes.
It had a stick in its mouth. We were starting at each other before it casually walked away into the bushes It was a weird moment. A lot of thoughts were inside my mind. I can be a little superstitious. I thought hat it has to be a sign for something. Some sort of premonition but what? I wondered what would happen.
It’s common in Japan to see statutes of Tanuki in front of Izakaya, bars or restaurants in Japan. The weird thing about them is that their scrotum are usually large. Why I don’t know. From what I was able to read about them, as far as being good luck. In the past Tanuki skin was used to smash gold dust into think layers. Which is why they are probably associated with good luck.
I thought I had seen another one but by the time I was able to get my iPhone ready to film it, it had already just made it to the edge of some shrubs. I was lucky to film it. After that I took off and thought about what had happened during the rest of my ride. I also thought that it would make the subject of a short story. Hopefully, I’ll receive some good luck.
Just melting here in the heat. It’s great to be in my second home and spending time with family. Trying to avoid hackers that followed me from Facebook, which I’ve been off of for about two years , to Instagram with I’m thinking about dropping out of too. I had all of this gusto for a while for social media, then I matured and well and now I just feel like dropping out all together.
The most important thing now is that I’m at a new state with my family and my career which is on this academic trajectory. It feels good. It’s funny how people act like the transgressions they levied against you don’t seem to matter. In that case I just get distant. It took me a long time to learn but anyway I’m in a good space. Hopefully I can go for a good ride tomorrow. Looking at a 1000 year old Bonsai plant, puts a lot of things in perspective.
I’ve had so many doors shut in my face but it doesn’t stop me from trying to open new doors. The worse part is that sometimes it was the people I thought were my friends.
It’s been a while.
It’s not easy to keep blogging sometimes. Anyway I’m in a good state. Soon, I’ll be connecting sociolinguistic research on African American Language (AAL). Some people call it ebonics. It’s AAL now. There’s a lot to say about this but but I won’t go deep into it now.
So, I published a book. It was exciting at first and I did it during the pandemic but honestly it was rushed. I wanted better editing and I related this to the publisher but he denied it but it’s what I experienced. Still I got a book publish and I don’t know when that will happen again. I wrote a second book but they wouldn’t publish it and well I’m almost done with my third book.
Artistically I’ve been through a lot but we all have. Right now just savoring the moment with this peace of mind that I have. A lot of it comes from recognizing my own power and riding a bicycle. There’s no going back but it feels good to feel good and recognizing and trusting my perception and protecting my peace.
